Star Eds Episode 1: The Ed Menace
by KingKongSushi
Summary: The intro to the Star Eds Saga. Rated R for language and mild violence.


Ed Edd n' Eddy is a fully copyrighted product of Cartoon Network, or more specifically, the company who made them. I do not intend any moral offense by making this fanfic. Several recognized movie phrases and titles will be mentioned and are also copyrighted material.  
STAR EDS  
Episode 1: The Ed Menace  
SCENE 1   
Location: Edd's House  
It started as just another fine morning in the cal-de-sack. Eddy ran to Edd's house and started banging on the door as he screamed, "Come on Double D! Double D! Wake the fuck up!" " Alright! I'm up damnit!" yelled Edd. " We should go get Ed. He might be a dumbass, but he is an Ed, and we have to respect that no matter what. It is our sworn duty as Eds to protect, respect, and ensure the comfort of our fellow Ed. All Eds must be held together, or mark my words, we will be torn apart! We must unite and scam, because....well...because.. we're bored as hell and have nothing better to do. Furthermore we must....." said Edd before he was cut off."Double D. Don't make me kick your ass just like on Friday," chuckled Eddy. " That was a lucky shot, bitch," complained Edd. "Oh! Let's just go and get Ed!" "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah," bitched Eddy.  
Scene 2  
Location: Ed's House  
"Shhhhh," whispered Eddy. "DOGPILE!" screamed Edd. The Eds wrestled around until Eddy was dancing on Ed's back. Edd jumped off an armchair and tackled Eddy. "Who kicked who's ass now Eddy?" asked Edd, mockingly. There was a tapping at Ed's window.  
" Hello crazy Ed boys," said Rolf. "Hiya Rolf!" all the Eds screamed at the same time. " What are you doing?" asked Rolf. " Well nevermind that. Rolf wishes to borrow some sugar." " Why don't you grow some, farmer boy?" mocked Eddy. "Ed boy is asking for an ass whooping. Haha. Haha," said Rolf.   
" Does sugar grow on a chicken Eddy?" asked Ed. Eddy smacked him for being stupid. "It grows on a cane, Ed," Eddy said boringly. " My grandma has a cane!" screamed Ed. " Ed," said Eddy." Why do you have to be such a fucking shitless asshole!" " Do assholes grow on canes too Eddy?" asked Ed. " I don't know why we put up with you,Ed," said Eddy. "Is it because I love chickens, Eddy?" asked Ed.  
Scene 3  
Location: The Cal-de-sack  
Only Johnny was out in the cal-de-sack when the Eds got there. "You know, Double D, this new product will sell like wildfire," said Eddy. " You can't sell wildfire, Eddy," added Edd. "Don't get technical Edd," said Eddy. " That's nice. Plank wrote a song. Listen. *ahem* Oh, Plank's to sexy for his shirt, too sexy for his shirt, so sexy it hurts..What was that Plank? I wanna bathe too," said Johnny.   
" We're gonna go stand over there now. Oh yeah. By the way. Plank doesn'thave a shirt," said Eddy. "Geez, what's up with Johnny? He didn't appear to be so drawn to Plank when we first got here. You know what I think? I think he's gay," said Eddy. "Gravy," said Ed. "Gee Ed, you know just when to say the right thing," said Eddy. "Hehe. An omlette is only three fourths of a burrito," responded Ed. "The other kids are in the lane," added Edd. " We should go see what they're up to, following that whole Prankmaster bit they pulled a while ago."  
Scene 4  
Location: The Lane  
"Hoo hah!" screamed Eddy as he tried to impress the kids. " Well if it isn't Dork, Dorkk, and Dorky. What the fuck are you guys doin' here? We don't want you here. You always try to pull some gay- ass scam, and it always backfires. Do you know why? Because you're dorks!" yelled Kevin.   
" Gee, Kevin. Calm down. They're not half bad, especially Double D," added Nazz.   
Edd blushed." Was that a blush I just saw, loverboy?" asked Eddy. Edd pinched him in the   
back of the neck and resumed his innocent stance. "Would you like to come over and jam   
later, Double D?" asked Nazz. "W-What the fuck?!" yelled Kevin. "Don't worry. You'll be   
there too. So will Jimmy and Sarah. We're gonna play Truth or Dare," added Nazz.  
Scene 5  
Location: Nazz's House  
"Alright, Double D, truth or dare?" asked Nazz. " I'll take truth thank you," said Edd. " Do you have a crush on me?" asked Nazz. Edd started sweating, then he became red. "Well... I uh...er...I mean," said Edd before choking up."I uh.... do." Nazz pretended to look at something when she secretly blushed.  
Later, they sat around a fire roasting marshmallows. "You know, guys, it's getting late. I should go," said Edd. "You mean you're not gonna spend the night? Come on Edd please..." Nazz begged. " I guess I could if you would happen to have a sleeping bag," responded Edd. "There's one in the shed," added Nazz. "Okay, I'll get it," Edd said.   
Final Scene  
Location: The Lane  
"Hey, Double D!" yelled Eddy. "Did ya' get any?" " No," responded Edd. " We played truth or dare and the impossible happened. Kevin didn't call me a dork all evening. I'm starting to think that the only reason that I was a dork was because I was hanging out with you. I have to go later. Kevin invited me to a sleepover at his house. I'm certain it will be quite educational." "Fine then, you fucking traitor. From this day on, you are no longer one of the Eds," Eddy said before smacking Edd around. " Hey Eddy!" Nazz yelled. "Leave him alone you bastard!" With that comment Nazz kicked Eddy in the nuts and helped Edd over to her house for lunch.  
What will happen between the friendship of the Eds? Why is Edd so popular? Is anything going on between Edd and Nazz? Will Edd finally get some? Find out in the thrilling, not for children, next episode of Ed Wars:  
In Over Your Ed   



End file.
